What? Did you think that overgrown warrior dominated the Omega Squad reports? He's currently 'indisposed', so I'm here to enlighten you on what's what here in the Covenant homeworlds. Now let's see what juicy intel we have to fascinate you!
Anyway, here, on Palamok, trouble is brewing in its murky swamps. More accurately to report is that a Yanme'e shrine which had then been made into the famous Halo 3 map Guardian:
has been overrun! Remember our favorite Jiralhanaes? You know, those furry apes who couldn't keep their oversized scissors and incoherent garbage to themselves? Looks like they've begun their revenge on the so called traitors, attacking these innocent bugs. Normally, we Unggoys would go and kick their ***** all the way back to their ******** of a rock, but Palamok's gravity is infamous for being notoriously strong. If we went there, it'd be like being splattered by those annoying human jeeps again.... and again.... and again.
You get the picture. The Spartans and Sangheilis would normally assist our disabled companions, but it seems that they're out for tea, if I understand them correctly.
For tea.... that has got to be one of the most ******** excuses I've ever heard of, but don't tell anyone I said that, m'kay?
Anyway, that Yanme'e shrine that I mentioned earlier has been taken by those ****** apes and, coupling with the genocide of these neglected creatures, is the fact that they've set up so many turrets that the place looks like Truth's Citadel v7! The ground's littered with so many corpses that it looks like every single cemetary had been uprooted and the contents had been dumped in that certain spot.
It's sickening, I tell you. Right now, famous Yanme'e general Oiven is leading a contingent of the queen's best guards to slay these miserable apes. It's quite obvious who's going to win, but I don't want to disspirit the Jiralhanaes, so I'll let them dream.
This has been Pancho, and I hope you'll come back for more!
Pancho
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