Omega Squad Report 10: Machinima: The Movie!

After what I am sure was an eternity, this is Yos here. The Kig-Yars are in 'da house!

Anyway, Seg's off playing something called Poker over at New Harvest, so I have to be the one to tell the story. *ahem*

To any of those who are not familiar with the term, Machinima is a term used to define video game footage portrayed in a cinematic experience. There are many kinds of Machinima, including Machinima made to tell exactly what Machinima is. Since the creation, there have been many Machinima movies, Machinima drama, Machinima comedy, and other kinds of various Machinima that it would take forever to list them all.

Now, back to my point. Over here on Earth at exactly March 7, 2554, we bear witness to the unveiling of a new movie that had been lost for over five centuries: Machinima: The Movie!!! Now, you're probably wondering what it is, right? According to the description, nearly every single Machinimator back in 2009 had banded together to create the ultimate Machinima. It was the greatest thing ever created, getting into cinema five days after its release on Machinima.com. The reaction: Oscars for nearly everything! Everyone loved the movie and it was hailed as breakthrough in theatrical entertainment. Well, it WOULD have been a theatrical breakthrough.

Unfortunately for Machinima.com and all of the hardworking Machinimators, Machinima.com and the movie's writers were sued by Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo, Bungie, Infinity Ward, Epic Games, Rockstar, Lionhead Studios, Bethesda Studios, Guerrilla Games, and various other companies for their illegal use of video games, including Halo 3, Call of Duty 5, Gears of War 2, Grand Theft Auto IV, Fallout 3, Fable 2, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and Killzone 2. The result was catastrophic, with a five year trial causing the great Movie Depression of 2014. Machinima in general was forever banned, Machinima.com was disbanded, and famous Machinimators were persecuted for the creation of the project.

However, the people revolted. Machinima was originally a non-profit organization, and the fact that it had been released in Movie Theaters was by way of a typing error (later on, 49 Aqua Mentor of Installation 03 confirmed that it was, in fact, a typing error that caused it to become a movie) and lashed out at video gaming developers. By then, gaming had became so profitable a community that these companies hired their own mercenaries to defend their stores and workplaces. The civilians, in return, hijacked tanks, planes, and naval units, and the great Video Game War had begun.

At the end, the UNSC (Union of Nations and Specific Civilizations) and the UNSC (United Military Space Command) were left as the only remaining governments. Nearly every smaller country was conquered and destroyed in the crossfire, and several video game developers had been destroyed, including powerhouses Sony, Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sega. Video gaming had been brought to an abrupt halt, as did Machinimating. However, with them gone and the new Extravagant Nation of Interstellar Excitement (E.N.I.X.) heading all entertainment productions, the laws of these complications were dropped, and Enix welcomed the new Machinimating movie into theaters. Now I know what you're thinking: What was the plot? It's very simple.

One ordinary afternoon, Master Chief and the Arbiter are casually playing Halo 3 in Jon's apartment when they are matched up with Phil, Zack, and Wally. Master Chief is instantly intrigued by Zack's offer to team up to get achievements, while the Arbiter and Phil are naturally disgusted. They are then matched up with xDragonW0lf and an unknown green Spartan, whose gamertag was mysteriously whited out. In the middle of performing the achievement Maybe Next Time Buddy, the green Spartan, who reveals himself as CMNeir of Halo 3 Tricks, stops them and tells them that they were about to perform the Trick of Legends. Master Chief, who is as stupid as he is eager, continues with it but messes up the glitch. The players are then warped to Weather Station Z 41, where they interrupt a forecast being done by Craig and Eugene. The denizens of Weather Station Z 41 bicker with these newcomers until John, Vincent, and Travis, which have oddly been matched into the game, come in. Soon after, Mike, Brandon, Rachel, Jessica, Rob, Matt, and Silent Pete are also matched into the game, crashing in. The teams enter into a stalemate, but it is instantly interrupted by the combined forces of XxXsMok3w33d4LyPh3420xXx, White Haven, Commander Melander, Timmy, Clan Macho, and a random Katana noob. Before the sides engage in a fierce battle, Spriggs, on his Mongoose, comes speeding past, with the pursuing force of Willy, who is in turn being followed by a fleeing Rogir and Triple M, who is in turn being pursued by the aliens and Hammer, who is in turn being pursued by Vollin and her forces, who is in turn being pursued by the Rainbow Squad, who are in turn being pursued by the Pink Squad, who are in turn being followed by Meme. The random Katana noob is splattered, but is immediately substituted by Vollin and the Pink Squad. The antagonists are then confronted by Ratri (not a typo) and an evil glitcher, all lead by the evil mastermind DippyDoDa, who offer the antagonists a way to completely rule the Halo universe. After they leave, though, they release a time warp sending Shiek, Cid, Herman, Miller, Cooper, Jackson, and various others to them, as well as a contingent of Phantoms, Pelicans, and a map. Together, they set off to find the Legendary Gaming Glitch and prevent it from falling into the hands of their evil rivals. Along the way, they find new allies, recruit new soldiers, and stop their greatest foes from performing the glitch that would forever destroy gaming as we know it. However, what seems like a simple mission elaborates into more than that when the newest allies, those in particular Caboose, bring another whose actions are more malevolent than merely ruling the gaming world.

Simple, huh? I'll see you at the theaters, gents!