The Lockout Weekly: Omega Squad Report 11: Unngoy Underdogs in Grifball Finals!

I was shocked, to be sure, but they did it. My species got into the Grifball finals! In case you're suffering from a recent head injury and don't remember me, it's Pancho! Sorry for the lack of updates by our favorite Sangheili, but he's currently tied up with matters concerning a Twilight Halo crossover.

Anyway, ever since its humble origins back on Earth when the UNSC was just starting out, Grifball had grown into a phenomenon everyone had heard about, and most people enjoyed it. Of course, every sport had its critics, but Grifball was hailed as the most popular sport, primarily due to the inability to suffer fatal injury. A few bruises, maybe a burn mark or two, but otherwise you're unscathed. Isn't that a bargain!?

Anyway, ever since the forming of the UNSC (the 2nd one; see previous posts for details), Unggoys, Kig-Yars, Mgalekgolos, and Yanme'es have joined in the craze. The Unggoy Underdogs, which were highly underrated and expected to be eliminated in the first few matches, recently defeated the Mgalekgolo Maulers and earned itself in the finals with the Chief Champions. This renowned Spartan group, which all pay tribute to the fallen de-- I mean Spartan Master Chief, is fabled to have never lost a Grifball match. Now, matched against the formidable Unggoys, some predict that their seven year reign may very well end.

Now, to all that are unfamiliar with the sport, it is very simple. It resembles the old sport Football where people had to bring a ball to the opposing side's goal. However, instead of randomly tackling the opposition like a bunch of cudgels, you have stunning swords and modified Gravity Hammers to eliminate the opponents. Anyone can become the ball carrier, and the ball carrier respectively becomes orange for... some reason. People say it has something to do with some Spartan called Grif, though no one was quite sure. Anyway, the ball, which, for some unknown reason explodes when you score, must be brought to the enemy side to score. The team that scores the most points in the two minutes is the victor. Many had expected the Unggoy Underdogs to falter against the Yanme'e team Fighting Fliers, though they, for some odd reason, succeeded against them.

The Unggoys then performed their task well, defeating the Spiteful Spartans, the Safeguard Sangheilis, the Killer Kig'Yars, and the Mournful Marines. Making it to the finals after their heroic, and quite anti-climatic victory over the Mgalekgolo Maulers in a score of 7,777,777 to 7 (The Unggoys were obviously the 7,777,777.), their highly anticipated battle between them and the Chief Champions is the second most famous anticipated Grifball match in history just falling beneath the match between the Sarge's Stranglers and the O'Malley Manglers.