Sunday, November 9
Thursday, October 30
The Lockout Weekly - HALOween Art Gallery
Readers beware, we have before you a collection of horrifying images related to the most sinister scenery item ever to rest on a map, photos so comical you will DIE LAUGHING!!! But then again, that's what you're here for, right? Look on, if you are brave enough to do so!
Tuesday, October 21
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH YURI LOWENTHAL - ''The Lockout Weekly''
Wow. The lockout weekly has almost seemed inactive recently, but we've made it ALL up for you in this one killer release. I know Mr. Lowenthal from a summer party I attended for PCB productions a few months ago. He was very enthusiastic when I inquired if I could send him some questions for my internet 'column' I write for Halo enthusiasts. He claims ilovebees was his favorite project, and after going back and forth online for a little, I got some answers to questions that you I'm sure will love to hear. Without further ado, I present to you the Q&A!
Here you go Cairo. And you can call me Yuri. No Mr. required. Ever. Thanks for the questions. Lemme know if you ever need anything else. It was great meeting you at the PCB party. Sorry I had to duck out early before we really got to talk, but I'm sure we'll meet again. I've included the Q&A in the body of the email as well as an attached Word Doc.
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1. Did you enjoy working on ilovebees?
It remains one of my favorite projects ever to have worked on, and one of the ones I am most proud of. We definitely felt early on like, “This is something special, isn’t it? I have no idea what’s going on, but this is big.” And it was.
2. Did you work in the same booth with Kari, Olivia, Kristen, Zan, Dave, and Kristin, or were you recorded individually?
Sometimes separate, but when the team thought it would be important, they had us record together, which was always more fun. They are all amazing actors and most of them really close friends. When it was all done, we felt like we had been through combat together. Really close.
3. What was your favorite part of working on ilovebees?
Oh, man, I could never isolate just one. From the story to the characters to the team to the other actors I got to play with and the secrecy we had to keep and the scope of the project and the joy everyone involved felt being a part of it… It’s just one of those projects that came together on all levels and was so unlike anything I had been a part of before.
4. Was it easy to portray Kamal as a character?
Some days were easier than others. He goes through big changes. But I love him. There’s a lot of me in him, and I still look at him as one of my greatest characters.
5. Did you attend the private screening of Halo 2 that followed the end of ilovebees?
I wish. They never tell me anything…
6. Do you know of, enjoy, or play Halo at all?
I do play Halo, mostly by myself, as opposed to co-op or online, but (un)fortunately I never have succumbed to the addiction it can become. I’m really susceptible to falling into games and never coming out again. I’m also fond of my marriage and didn’t want to lose that…
7. You also provided additional voice acting for Halo 3, are you planning on working on any of the upcoming Halo games?
I don’t know where you heard that. I tried really hard to get in on Halo 3, but was unsuccessful. That said, I’d be honored to work on any of the upcoming Halo games.
So there you have it! Yuri is a very nice man, and it was a pleasure speaking with him. I'll give you that to chew on as you traverse through the day, but for now, this is Rtan Sansee signing out!
Monday, October 13
Typical Sandstorm Unveils Mystery Ship - ''The Lockout Weekly''
As the plumes of sand from one of the usual storms in Sandtrap receded, Spartans and Elites took eager steps out from the cover of their bases and Elephants and began their fighting once more. But it was quickly discovered that all was not as it had been, for a mysterious ship had been unearthed and sat half buried in the minefield.
After examining Theater Films of the scene, Bungie Officials have concluded that it is either an ancient Forerunner Capital Ship from The Forerunner-Flood war, or an escape pod from the Aegis Fate.
"It's interesting, I can tell you that" A purple elite commented, shifting nervously back and forth and rubbing some sand off his shoe. "I'm a regular player right around here, and I've never seen anything like it. It makes me wonder what else is down there..."
But all changed when a Brown Hayabusa and Katana wearing Sliver SPARTAN snuck in during a King of the Hill and managed to squeeze the ship into his fileshare. Bungie workers are aghast at the loss of such a commodity, and a group of angry Lieutenants send angry messages at the loss of the canceled investigation they were to start the next day.
The SPARTAN says that he will sell the item for Fifty Kazzilion Ninety Cabillion Fifty Millon and Two FORGE DOLLARS to anyone willing to pay up. The equivalent of 95,863,497,733.80 pesos in Spanishland.
As of tomorrow, Bungie employees, protected by 1337 players, will stage a meeting in an undisclosed Custom Game, but for now, we must wait. This is Rtan 'Santee signing out.
The Lockout Weekly and all stories under that category are property of Cairo, and may not be duplicated without previous consent. ®2008 thecairocat.
Sunday, September 7
Bungie Moderators Disperse Mobbing Players with Firebombs - ''The Lockout Weekly''
Controversy sparked yesterday as players flooding the corridors of Assembly, about a mile away from the Red Team Convention in Blackout, were cleared out with Firebombs by Moderators clad in full Security Armor.
The Grenades were used when the protesters, mostly in the Sergeant, Gunnery Sergeant ranks, attempted to cross the bridge that spans the main of the facility. The marchers were warned repeatedly against doing so, and many marched across yelling "The Moderators are N**bs! Pwn 'em! Pwn 'em!".
Despite this, there has been much debate on whether or not the Moderators should have used these 'noobish' explosives. "There's a reason didn't put these things on the maps! They are noobish and cheap!" Exclaim some angry participants. Also in question is the fact that Flares were used to blind the oncoming mob. Being recently removed from maps, they are unable to be accessed by players.
As a line of Security wearing Moderators with Mongooses at their sides approached, one Crimson Mark V refused to step out of their way. They were thrown to the ground as several doused her in Flames. She was incinerated and forced with 5 minute Respawn times.
Security Chiefs say that all weapons used were not modded, and that firebombs were only a way of making sure that the Red Team Tournament went smoothly.
Several fleeing SPARTANS were pursued through many Forge, Custom Game, and Matchmaking games, pursued by Security in Scorpions, Hornets, and Elephants. Pursuits most usually ended with Security beating down and assassinating runners.
As the epic struggle of Red and Blue continues, chaos will emerge, and one will come out of the heaping, smoldering wreckage victorious, but for now, this is Rtan 'Santee signing out.
Saturday, August 30
Forge Dollars Facing Inflasion, More Players Resorting to Money Glitch - ''The Lockout Weekly''
As more and more maps and objects go up for purchase on DLC, the price of forge dollars is declining into... something bad. People just can't get what they used to for a buck, and sometimes Bankruptcy will send a mapper into foreclosure of his Map. Because of this, there has been a severe spike in the use of the Money Glitch, and more people have been reverting to the primitive tactics of racetrack and minigame makers.
All Bungie's attempts to settle the issue have been in vain, and since the split with Microsoft, more and more Forge Dollars have been paying up map expenses, leading to LIVE-wide overflow and general panic.
"Before, I could fill up Foundry on my Map's Budget, now, it seems like I can barely spawn a turret" Says one discontented player.He was Angry. Our experts show that the value of the currency is down mainly because of the new forge objects, as well as more circulation among file share.
Some IGN pros are even going as far as to say that this is the start of a new recession and 'land grab' of objects, but for now, this is Reporter Santee signing out.
The Lockout Weekly and all stories under that category are property of Cairo, and may not be duplicated without previous consent. ®2008 thecairocat.
Monday, July 7
Forge Blackout leaves Halo Players Stumped - ''The Lockout Weekly''
At the dawn of Halo 3, players rushed to take advantage of new modes. Theater Mode, Co-op Mode, Xbox Live Mode, but mostly: Forge Mode. Players flocked into it, the ease was amazing! Spawning any vehicle, weapon, powerup, or item at the mere push of a button, and moving around with the ease of a Monitor. With such things, the players no longer needed to trudge along the map to merely get an Energy Sword or Sniper Rifle, now, they could spend their time with more creative things, like Warthog Launching. One of the most popular trick was elephant flipping, in which the players would float carelessly up to an Elephant, place fusion coils, and BOOM! The Elephant topples over, giving out a delightful message that made a many, many fans giggle.
Players soon became dependent on this new source, almost never returning to human form, they would spend the day humming and buzzing about, spawning mongooses and tanks atop each other in odd formations, plus creating sculptures in designs implying their want for Recon. This became the only way of multiplayer life, with , with no peril besides a misplaced chopper crushing someone's tower of gravity lifts.
However, this way of carefree living was brought to an end last Tuesday when an overload of map overloads caused the Forge system to shut down, forcing all players into their normal forms. This caused a widespread panic that rattled the gaming world as Spartans tried weakly to walk across the maps. The limited ammo and lack of the ability to spawn items created a horror unlike any ever seen in the Halo universe. Players Had no idea how to get around maps without a bird's eye view and super fast speeds. Many players got trapped forever, unable to get out of the caves in Sandtrap, or the tunnels in The Pit.
This sudden lack of a 'Hornet on Command' caused players to have to adapt. Soon learning the skills of the ancients, legendary people who had played Halo 2, and Halo 1 on Xbox original. These natives had become adept in unheard skills like 'Crouch Jumping' 'Sniping' and 'Meleeing'. While these were necessary in an environment where you had to scavenge for your weapons, the forge-happy Halo 3 players had any knowledge of any such skill. However, some attempted marvelous feats, such as 'Grenade Jumping', which often lead to serious injury if they did not know what they were doing.
However, eventually they got a grip on it, and by the time the servers were back online, the gamers drifted back to Forge with almost weary hearts, because walking around was almost fun, sort of a challenge say John Pillauski, an avid player. 'It was like the old days, when we actually played campaign' stated Mary Lancer, who was right then trying to flip an Elephant the 'old fashioned way'.
And so we have it, another story, another epic, ground breaking story, from right here, the offices of The Lockout Weekly! See you next time!
The Lockout Weekly and all stories under that category are property of Cairo, and may not be duplicated without previous consent. ®2008 thecairocat